| I tried, I really tried to be a good neighbor today. I went | | | | FedEx was there, but no UPS. Maybe under |
| out to the mailbox and noticed a package that had | | | | deliveries? Nope. What about packages? Nope. |
| slipped off the porch into last year's annuals. As you | | | | Enough of that waste of time, I went back to the |
| know, annual plants look great in the summer, but a lot | | | | computer and searched UPS locations. I found them |
| like dead weeds in the winter. I retrieved the package | | | | and there was a local phone number. Hallelujah. A real |
| and brought it in. | | | | person answered the phone and after hearing of my |
| "Oh, no," I yelled to my wife. "This is not for us, UPS | | | | desire to do the right thing and get a package picked |
| has misdelivered it." She was in the other room and | | | | up and delivered to the right place he told me, "We |
| said, a little irritated, "What is it?" | | | | don't have drivers here, you have to call this other |
| "A package was in the weeds, but it's not for us." We | | | | number." |
| looked it over and determined that it came from UPS | | | | Just for kicks I looked to see if that number was listed |
| -- little did we know that it actually was delivered by | | | | -- it wasn't -- but another live person answered the |
| USPS. I swear the labels look exactly the same. I have | | | | phone. This time I was frustrated. I said, rather loudly, |
| the 800 number for UPS and called them. Of course I | | | | "I'm getting very upset with UPS. For the amount of |
| was greeted by a friendly, not very helpful, recording | | | | time I've spent trying to find a way to get this package |
| instructing me to: | | | | picked up and delivered correctly, I could have |
| | | | delivered it myself." |
| 1. Track a package | | | | She nicely apologized for the frustration I was |
| 2. Send a package | | | | experiencing and made arrangements to have it |
| 3. Request Shipping Information | | | | picked up. She asked, "Will you be home?" |
| 4. Order supplies There wasn't an option for none of | | | | "Yes, but when will the driver be by?" I reasonably |
| the above, so I did the only reasonable thing, I pushed | | | | wanted to know. |
| "0." That same friendly, but not very helpful voice | | | | "I can't tell you yet," she said. |
| came on and said, "I'll be happy to connect you with a | | | | "Is there something I can do just in case we miss each |
| customer service representative if you will say your | | | | other?' |
| selection: Track a package, Send a package, Request | | | | "Sure, just leave it where you found it." |
| shipping information, or order supplies. There is more | | | | "It was in the weeds," I said sarcastically, "Do you want |
| than one way to skin a cat so I got on the computer | | | | me to leave it there?" |
| and went to the UPS website. | | | | "Is there a place that's not in the weeds?" |
| I spent 20 minutes going from screen-to-screen looking | | | | "Yeah, we have a pretty big porch." |
| for anything that appeared to be a way of reporting a | | | | Fifteen minutes later the doorbell rang. We saw a UPS |
| misdelivered package. Don't they ever have a delivery | | | | truck out the window and assumed that they couldn't |
| go astray? They must not because I promise that | | | | find a package that wasn't in the weeds. He left. Then |
| they don't have a way to deal with this contingency. | | | | the phone rang. "Hello, this is UPS." |
| I wouldn't give up. I thought to myself, "Self just call a | | | | "Yes, your driver came by. Couldn't he locate the |
| local UPS store, they'll take care of it." That's easier | | | | package?'" |
| said than done. I tried the white pages first. The white | | | | "Oh, yes, he found the package but it wasn't ours." |
| pages I quickly learned no longer have business listings. | | | | "What do mean?" |
| They're residential only. So, I grabbed the yellow pages | | | | "That package came from USPS, not UPS." |
| and asked my wife, "What category would I find UPS | | | | Oh great -- now I have to do it all over again. I swear |
| under, shipping?" | | | | as the old saying goes, "No good deed goes |
| "Sure, try shipping." | | | | unpunished. |